Day 29: Blow bubbles.

(Multitasking is possible but NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.)

Recent days brought so much worries into my life that I have to even schedule time, where I can be stressed about all of that shit. This day for example involved civil wars, poisons, the giant mess that is U.S.A., looking for a flat, looking for a job, dements & dementors, working on my novel, somehow also working on my fanfics, blog, diary, essays and to put a nice bow on it: panicking over my bachelor thesis, Also I happened to see the worst, weirdest movie about vampires you can ever imagine. Yes, worse than the first Twilight movie. Worse. 

No wonder the weirdness of my dreams is lately so off the charts. Seriously I need a to do list to keep in check all of my to do lists. And I should definitely stop listening to that one song by Taylor Swift over and over again. Okay it's two songs. Maybe three.

In order of this giant mess that has become my day to day reality, I decided to bring a bubble kit to my run. So I can blow bubbles while I'm running for my life, other people stare at me and other dead people stare at me with salivas and flesh dripping down their mouths. Thank Gods Zombies, Run! is just an audio story.

(You know, just imagine me in the middle of the forest - completely out of breath - trying to blow some bubbles while the light is quickly fading out everywhere, because even the sun doesn't want to have anything in common with me. And then it started to rain, because why the fuck not.)

Also, did you know that echidna have four headed penises? Now you know. (For your own sake - don't google it.)

This is my life.

This is my life.

Day 20: Try nail art.

(Everyone needs more glitter in their life.)

Normally, I wouldn't dare to call it "art" not even "nail art", but for the sake of the challenge I will. Guess who has now pink glittery nails with silver glitter poured all over it to be the sparkliest goth ever?

Me a.k.a. Totally Adult Person.

Day 185: Dress up for no reason.

(Bring the TARDIS I'm ready.)

Once upon a time on Facebook I randomly saw one post. As it usually happens, because their algorythm sucks big time. It was from a fan page and the basic message was something like:

"Dress everyday like you are about to run away with the Doctor."

And since that day it became my mantra. Well sort of. I mean I'm not nearly rich enough to dress how I want and sometimes even not to dress in something I hate. But recently I've been trying to wear my favourite pieces instead of saving them for later, because a) every day deserves to be savoured b) one day it's not gonna fit me anymore or my fashion tastes will change c) I kinda want to get richer so I can get myself even prettier clothes anyway. So If I want to wear something, I'm gonna wear it.

That means, that a lot of the time I dress up just because I managed to get out of my bed. I wear my pretty black dress way more often and I'm loving it. This time it was because I had a seminar in the evening that I never want to go to, because people. And talking. And stuff. Creepy.

Day 87: Go to the movies.

(Carrots!)

It's been AGES since I was at the cinema for the last time and it was even longer since I've seen anything good there. Which is a shame, so me and my room mate decided, that we'll go and see Zootopia today.

And. It. Was. Awesome.

My Gods, it was.

I get that a lot of the things were lost in translation and also in the fact that the cultural references and social demographic is way different here in the Czech Republic than in USA, but as someone who study current events and the US history as well, I couldn't imagine better movie for this year. The animation was great, the city itself reminded me of solarpunk aesthetic and art nouveau architecture SO MUCH I was squeeling with delight. The character designs of the animals were cool as well as the plot of the whole story was clever too, even though it got a little bit repetitive - but come on, it's a kids movie.

I'm just a bit disapointed I didn't get to experience all the great puns and everything, as it was dubbed, - because, hey, it's a kids movie - but I have to admit that the transaltion was good nonetheless, which is sadly something that doesn't happen very often.

Day 203: Drink green tea.

(No power in the universe can stop me.)

There's hardly a day when I don't drink tea. And I admit, green tea wasn't my favourite for a long time. I had to move out to Prague, become an adult and actually get a friend and she was so lovely to introduce me to green teas. Which is also hardly a surprise as even her blog name is green tea related - yes, I am talking about non other than http://mint-teatime.blogspot.cz/.

Today I had three cups of a delightful jasmine green tea and I couldn't have chosen any better.

Day 196: Go on a Tumblr binge.

(Unnecessary procrastination.)

Today was the day of lame jokes, fashion, reminiscing about the Fifth Element movie, shiping Alexis and Haley from Castle, memes about new Star Wars and wondering how big the oceans really are.

My tumblr has the same name my blog does, in case you're wondering.

Day 54: Listen to a podcast about something that interests you.

(Fictional worlds here I come.)

Well technically it's not a podcast, it's a university course that was being filmed for the whole semester, but I could download just the audio and listen to it like a podcast if I wanted to. But of course I don't want to do that, too much work.

I can't recall exactly what made me stumble upon this course, but one day I just found myself absolutelly captivated by it. And then several other days, because it's a uni course, so it's long, okay.

Brandon Sanderson, one of the biggest and greatest fantasy writers of this time - and one I haven't read yet shame on me - is teaching a creative writing course and his 2012 and 2013 lectures are all filmed and put up online on youtube and gathered on this site with some more resources and blog posts and other useful stuff that I haven't even checked out yet - http://www.writeaboutdragons.com/.

(And this is the complete list of all the lectures and alike, if you're interested: http://www.writeaboutdragons.com/brandon_w2012/ .)

So you see, it's quite easy to understand why I am so happy about this thing. It's a free uni course made available to the world so other people and - aspiring *cough cough* - writers can learn from it and make their work better. And I just flew through the 2012 course in a bunch of days and I have learnt so, so much just by listening. And yes I do watch lectures and interviews with writers I don't even read (yet) quite often, because there's always something to learn. Or new to discover.

But I am well aware that my listening skills will never make me a good writer. And because I am not brave enough to try out the website functions and I don't feel like I am able to write fiction fully in English (yet?) anyway, I decided to develop a sort of a writing challenge for me:

For every thousand words I write for my first draft on that one thing I've been recently working on, I can watch a new lecture. And so far I am doing great. I could be doing way better, but as always I got held up by other worries of my crazy life and sometimes there was just absolutely no time to write. But I am writing more often and actually trying to get better and work on myself. I also stopped believing that I will ever publish anything - I just want to write. I know I want to. So a make myself sit the fuck down every fucking day and do it.

Thanks Brandon! :)

Day 149: Clean the house for a roommate or significant other.

(Feeling like a capable adult.)

I don't mind cleaning from time to time after other people, it's a nice gesture to do and it sort of alleviates the daily stress for them - or even for you if you need to stop thinking about stuff and just do something - because there's always dust somewhere, there are always some dirty dishes or clothes that deserve to be cleaned or at least you should really, really vacuum the floor or something. And that's what I did today, I cleaned the flat for me and my roomate. And I am kinda proud that I am able to do that on a fairly regular basis despite my depressions and general laziness. I'm glad that it's not like at the house I was brought up in, in which you could slave all the days you have on this planet away and still live in a disgusting mess because permanently cleaming after five people is just impossible if you have other responsibilities. Whether you are a child or not. Stop the Cinderella bullshit.

I don't want to go back. Ever. 

Day 154: Join a book club.

(Bring on the smut!)

The first book club I have ever joined was the Vaginal Fantasy book club founded by Felicia Day (and co-hosted by Veronica Belmont, Bonnie Burton and Kiala Kazebee - you can check it out here: http://vaginalfantasy.com/). During that time I don't think I even knew that book clubs in general exist. And I definitely didn't know that I'd be interested in reading romances. Like HELL NO keep them away from me. Please. 

But it was founded by Felicia Day! And since the day they started broadcasting their monthly hangouts I haven't missed a single one of them. Well... technicaly I watched their livestream only twice or three times, but that's because they start in 4 am in the morning here. So I usually watch them couple hours later while I'm eating my breakfast. And I do not even care that I haven't actually read the book(s) they are talking about, I'm just enjoying the debate. I intend to catch up eventually and read everything, but come on, I don't have the time nor the money currently, to buy all of the books especially when some even haven't come out in the Czech Republic yet. But... some day. 

Some day. Like it's with every goal that I have.

So yeah. Vaginal Fantasy was my first ever book club and I love it even though I don't actually contribute to the discussion in the comments or in the Goodreads group in any way. Because I'm shy. And didn't read everything. However, the book club itself and the books that were read had a tremendously good effect on me. Despite the fact that I started to watch it only because Felicia is there.

It made me more comfortable talking and reading about sex and feminist issues way better than anything... well ever. It made me question the role of women and men and sexuality in our society and all the stuff like that. It made me curious about a topic I've been bored or repulsed by basicaly all of my life. And I think that's hella important. (Yes, I did just use that word.) Especially when sex education in the Czech Republic is so poor. And the whole topic of sex is still kinda embarassing for everyone and kinda a taboo to speak about even though it's 2016. But with things like Vaginal Fantasy (Gods that name) it's suddenly become easier because... you are talking about books. You are talking about stories and fictional worlds with fairies and stuff.

The main idea behind this book club is to read fantasy or sci-fi romance and erotica books, explore the sub-genres and kinda prove that there is more to those books than it seems. That even romances and eroticas can have and amazing plot, exciting characters and detailed setting and well developed worlds and magic systems and technology and everything other "better" books have. And of course, some good sex. Well written and realistic (or at least well thought out when you're fucking an alien or something). That they are not some "low" and "cheap" genres and that people who read them are not stupid etc. All these common prejudices people tend to have towards this kind of a literature (because to be honest the majority of it is bad. Really bad. But that's how all the entertainment work guys). 

And I certainly - and for a very long time - thought the same. I hated chick lit. I hated to read even young adult books because the romances were just so bad, so boring, so insta-lovey, so unreal and fake and idealized. I hated the fact that this is how the world sees girls and young women like me and that this is the way I should feel, I should behave - or I am expected to do so in my age. And with my gender. And I know that the point of fantasy is to not be real, but good stories need to have some logic in order to be good and feel real, so that they can have a big impact on our soul and make us want this world to be real.  So even though the characters end up together and everything is happy and amazing, I always felt cheated and I knew, I knew that their relationship wouldn't work in real life. It just wouldn't. And I knew that there are far more exciting things in the world than finding "the one" while you're still 15. It just all felt so unrealistic to me. The only YA book that I actually loved while I was still a teenager was the first Twilight book - because VAMPIRES and I was EXACTLY the blunt, boring and clumsy girl Bella was - right to the last two chapters, because COME ON, THE END WAS SO STUPID and AGAIN not realistic AT ALL. And I never finished the series, I just couldn't, I was so mad. I still am. And I am still kinda avoiding these genres... with the exceptions of the Vaginal Fantasy monthly picks, so I have a chance to discover something good.

But. Why am I talking about all this. Today I discovered another kinda smutty book club with a fitting name: Slutty Book Club. It is made as a series of short videos and sketches and so far it seems that the book picks are kinda random. There's not much so far, I've watched it all today, but I am not really sure how to feel about it, because some of the jokes and segments of the show seem forced and not really well tought out and kinda offensive...? But it still might prove interesting. So I am willing to give it a shot for while.

I am also participating in other book clubs, my favourite is the Sword & Laser partially hosted by Veronica Belmont (and the second co-host is Tom Merritt) who is also one of the hosts of Vaginal Fantasy and she is just amazingly clever and I love her like all of the ladies in VF. This book club is obviously focused on fantasy and sci-fi books in general and I am slowly getting through it in a similar manner like I do with Vaginal Fantasy. They also do a LOT of discussions with famous authors so if you like these genres it's definitely worth checking out their youtube channel or their podcast webpage with all the info you might desire - http://swordandlaser.com/. It's so worth it.

Then I am interested in the Around the World in 80 Books which is a Goodreads group focused on books set all over the planet, which might be really cool to explore, and the The Feminist Orchestra Bookclub, which name is again pretty self explanatory. But sadly I haven't had the time to get around to them yet.

So many books to read, so little time. Feels like heaven anyway.

Day 152: Enjoy coffee and a book.

(Let's start a war, shall we?)

I hate coffee.

I really, really do.

I hate the taste, the smell and the caffein in it does absolutely nothing to me, too, so every time I tasted this brown thing, it has been a torture. No matter what kind of coffee it was or who made it.

A. Torture.

Ugh.

So there's no way I'm doing that again and I don't even have any cappuccino which is the only thing close enough that I am able to drink without getting sick. If there's enough sugar and cream and chocolate in it. So let's foster my tea addiction with this one, okay? That was what I was about to do, yes. I sat down to our big red armchair, put my mug with some plum and vanilla tea on the handle and sunk into the Paradise Lost by John Milton. They finally published a decent modern translation last year - even with the illustrations! - so I've been slowly getting through this epic poem about Lucifer getting his revenge on God and I have to say that so far I'm enjoying it a lot. Not that I expected anything else.

Day 16: Go to your local farmers market.

(Or stumble and break your leg I guess.)

The sun was shinning and because the idea of me trying to squeeze into a smaller bus on this afternoon to get home from uni, was even more appalling than usual, due to these first signs of a better weather - finally - I decided to prolong my journey in the previous bus, which can't take me to the underground station I need, but can take me to the next one from where I do know my way anyway so what's the harm. It's pretty outside, it's warm, the trees are beginning to bloom and everything is wonderful. And I deserve a nice spring walk, right?

My entrée from the bus was wonderful as well, like, I love you high heels, I do, but why do you want to cripple me all the time. Seriously.

The good news is that I literally stumbled upon a local farmers market I had no idea that's... well... actually here. It was small but hey, they had veggies and fruits so it was no doubt a farmers market. And my leg hurt as hell, but wasn't broken so I could walk around and promise myself that one day, as a succesful and not poor vegan, I'll return there and buy everything.

(As if, right.)

Day 31: Treat yourself to something sweet.

(Do hot soldiers count? I'm sure they do.)

My favourite sweets ever are frozen strawberries with sugar and this is precisely what I had for my breakfast today. No regrets, absolutely no regrets. And I think when I finally reach some kind of a financial independence, I'll be having frozen fruits every day. The only better option would be even MORE frozen fruits, honestly.

Also automatic rifles apparently turn me on now. I'm not sure if this is a good sign.

Day 64: Listen to an upbeat playlist.

(Less morbid than it seems.)

I've been known as an avid listener of weird shit as long as I can remember. And that didn't changed a bit even though a few patterns emerged... here and there... that indicate some sort of a direction. So the first song I'd like to mention here for today belongs to the "Cute Girls" playlist my mind sort of... developed on its own. It's Die Alone by Ingrid Michaelson and it seems to be able to get me into a good mood which is the best definition of "upbeat" I can think of. No. Hold on. Don't go away, come back! I swear this IS an UPBEAT song, I swear! Really!

No seriously, though, Ingrid is the cutest. Her voice is absolutely amazing, her lyrics are clever, too, and I come back to her songs quite regularly for some good vibes. Here, have some other songs I recommend from her:

 

Day 25: Watch the sun set.

(If the clouds won't make much trouble.)

I've adored sunsets ever since I was a child. There is something magical about this concept of a dying sun setting the world around it on fire. No wonder such similar symbolism appears in myths and legends all over the planet.

I like to believe that for some mystical reason as well, the Fate decided it'll be fun to make my bed always facing west and make me fascinated by the changing colours forever. Unfortunately those plans seem to work only when I am not in Prague, but one day, one day with a flat on my own, I'll make sure no one will take this wonderful theatre away from me.

I don't want to say that I can't see the sunset from here, but I need to climb out the window on a small rooftop to get a good view of it. Which is not something I'd do during winter so this was kinda the first opportunity I had to do this. Spring is here, spring is all around. And what I like even more about the sunsets in this time of year is the fact that the trees are still bare and their black silhouettes make clear contrast with the pastel colours slowly changing around them. It reminds me of a style some comic artists use, like the world is painted in dark ink except for the sky.

Day 40: Visit a local park.

(One?! How about two!)

Another day of my running adventures - firstly conquering the 5k distance this year. I am still pretty much shaken up by the frog-attacks from the last time, so... I didn't really fancy seeing any trees... the grass would do. Nice grass all around and some pretty paved paths is all I wanted this evening.

That and some zombies thinking how yummy I am.

Day 19: Surprise someone you love with a gift.

(Mystery of the red chair. Also: chocolate.)

While love might be a strong word for anything my fucked up body ever feels (except for tea, I am damn sure I love that), I had the delightful opportunity to make not one person, but two, smile today. Because of material possesions and the corrupted capitalist way to make acquaintances.

In other words: I've finally met Merida, my sweet little friend whom I had the pleasure to torture only online to this day. I brought her a fluffy teddy bear instead of hugging her, because I do well understand how uncomfortable touching strange people is. And for her friend - chocolate muffins. I mean, can you imagine better dinner?

It was awkward. Like all dealings with mortals are. But it was sweet. We didn't get lost. Much. We saw stars. And swans. And boats. And creepy people. What a beautiful night.