Day 1: Wear your favorite things.

(Ah. At last.)

There's one pleasant thing about having all class stare at you while you talk - you get to dress up. At least I love to do so, I mean, if I have to go out, I want to be pretty. And there are two things in particular I tend to be excited about - my little black dress, because it's little and black, no joke; an old secondhand shop find that brought me much joy over the years - and black thermo-leggings with ruffles that looks like you have a skirt; a gift my sister received and didn't want.

I had my presentation. I was pretty. I survived.

Day 27: Take a day off work just because.

(My brain is fried.)

Yeah, once again, I'm not even gonna pretend like my life is cool or anything, so I decided to spend the whole day in my bed, and that was it. The plan was not do anything important except for preparing for my presentation about the American elections for tomorrow - not because I wanted to do it, but I clearly didn't have any other choice. At least I got to be comfortable and sleep till the afternoon. I missed my art history lesson and I also miss creative writing very much. But my whole brain felt like expired jello, so I guess this was the best thing I could do for myself today.

Whatever. I'll be an adult some other time.

Day 10: Stargaze.

(252P/LINEAR)

I do admit that I had an ulterior motive for staying up the whole night. I've been fascinated with space and the stars ever since I was a little girl, I even considered becoming an astrophysicist. And even though this dream is long abandoned, I am still trying to stay at least a bit up to date with what's going on up there,

252P/LINEAR is one of the two comets that appeared on the night sky at the end of this month, but the thing special about 252P was her colour - she was bright green. And what more - she was 100 times brighter than scientists expected, so there was a chance to spot it even without a telescope.

The unfortunate thing is that the only thing I recognize nowadays at night is the Moon and the constellation of Orion. The rest... I've just completely forgotten throughout the years. The second unforutnate thing is that this is the capital, so the light pollution is way higher than in my home town. The third unfortunate thing is that the comet is now moving away from Earth and the Sun, so no one really knows when it will return. And the last unfortunate thing - beside stupid clouds ruining my whole stargazing night - was the fact that the Moon was really big and continued flooding the sky with its stupid light, which made it impossible - at least for poor little me - to spot this beautiful thing.

The good things are that I didn't catch a cold and now I am able to recognize Mars and the biggest star of the Scorpio constellation - Antares. And I also managed to learn some more things about Europe before the doomsday I mean morning.

Day 93: Go for a run.

(FROGOCALYPSE!)

I knew from the beginning that this day is going to be super miserable. And super long, as I planned to pull an all-nighter because of my midterm the next day from the European Integration. I really didn't want to fuck it up. I needed to concentrate. I needed to learn as much as I could, finish my revisions and simply - not to waste a single minute.

Besides that, I organised my closet, colour coordinated all my clothes and finally began to do my laundry, so I'd get to wear something decent for uni tomorrow. The only diversion besides an episode of Ripper Street in the morning (you know I had to) and drinking obscene amounts of tea - was half to an hour of running I planned for that day.

And guess what - it started raining in the afternoon. That nice heavy rain that gets water everywhere for the entire next month, yes, that kind of rain. But the Gods were merciful - much to my surprise - and it stopped during early evening.

I was delighted, I waited for an hour or so, to see if the weather is going to last for a bit, and went out the moment the sun set under the horizon - so I was sure, there'd be still some light till I get back. I wanted to go for a run into the forest, you see, because it's full of bugs - particulary tics - during summer so I do not get go there much. Yes, I knew it was going to be full of mud, the paths will be super slippery if there'd be anything left of them other than huge puddles, but... what's the worst that can happen? I will fall on my butt like a dozen times and look like a brown ugly mess when I return - and it's not like I wear my favourite clothes for running anyway, so what's the harm? Besides the bruises it would left on my ego.

I never anticipated, how wrong this assumption would be.

The good news? My butt is unharmed and so is my pride.

The bad news? I still looked like an idiot and- WATCH THE FUCK OUT, FROGS!

...

I have never, never I tell you, been so stressed in my life.

I thought exams were stressful. I thought the fact that everything on this planet is about to die, because the humanity fucked up - is stressful. I thought the terrorist threat is stressful. I thought the American elections were stressful. I thought all those treaties, and years, and names, and concepts I had to memorize were stressful.

WRONG!

There are things that people never tell you about. The true horrors of life. The dangers that lurks in the forests besides bugs and creepy people. And I stumbled into the middle of them. Literally.

It started small. A cute frog jumping around the tarmac road, so cute I wanted to stop and look at it closely, but nope! zombies are behind me, sorry, little froggie, I gotta go, or they'll eat us both. But as soon as I headed into the depths of the forest they were fucking everywhere. 

I had to run! But I could never be sure what's a piece of mud, what's a rock, what's a branch and what's a fucking frog! And I kid you not, there were FAR MORE frogs than anything in that forest, I swear, there were more of them than the fucking trees.

And the worst thing was, that I LOVE FROGS. They are cute, and green, and can jump and stuff, I adore them to bits and I didn't want to kill them with my feet! But the last thing you want when you are in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and there are dead people rasping in your ears - is a piece of ground fucking JUMPING TOWARDS YOU!

But what could I do? Get back to the road? That would mean running pass all those frogs again! I was already too far from it! Continue running through the forest then? But THERE WERE FROGS EVERYWHERE!

EVERYWHERE!

Long story short, I jumped like an idiot through the forest in the shortest way possible and hopefully not killing anything in the process. Oh what a sight that must have been xD Never go out after the rain kids. Even if you need to go and save the world. Do not do it. Beware of the frogs. They are too cute. Do not make the same mistake I did, unless you want a heart attack.

Beware.

Day 140: Binge on a TV show.

(Murders & Corsets.)

I haven't binged it in its entirety - yet! - but there's a new show that I've been quite obsessed with, lately. And it surely ripped my heart in pieces numerous times. And I've enjoyed it. Therefore, I've decided to ruin your life by telling you about it.

It's a BBC drama set in victorian London - my favourite - following the aftermath in Whitechapel after the Jack the Ripper's killings. Now, I've been a bit sceptical going into it - I didn't want to waste my time with another "entertaining" take on this famous murderer and his victims, because those tend to be "flashy" and "thrilling" in a way that makes them yet another dull and mainstream adventure not at all historicaly accurate and lot of the time - just enjoying the exploitation of women. But I do not want to rant about that here - maybe some other time - because Jack isn't the main focus.

What to say - I've been absolutely captivated by the first season. My breath taken away - I've lost count how many times that was - and I cried. Oh, how I cried (particulary during the fifth episode).

So what's so good about it?

a) The plots.  

I'm in the middle of the second season, and while I'm less hooked than during the first, this is still some good quality crime stuff. The first season - oh my - was almost like a drug. The stories were so damn well structured, the twists were amazing, plus the whole victorian aesthetics... dear Gods. 

Deat Gods.

Main characters: 

Long Susan - Homer Jackson - Edmund Reid - Bennet Drake - Rose

The cast and the people working on the show

b) History

It's not accurate to the letter, there are some bits here and there, that were adjusted to fit the story - but majority of the plots are based on real people and real events of that time.

The original H Division

c) Pretty Ladieees

It's Whitechapel. There are some very pretty ladies. Also strong and clever and kinda doomed by this unequality shit of 19th century. And the show deals with that soooo well.

d) DEAD PEOPLE
It's a crime show. Set in the 19th century. Everybody's pretty much dead now. Yay.

e) More brooding Darcy

The main character - Edmund Reid - is played by non other than Matthew MacFadyen. So if you miss Darcy from Pride and Prejudice looking really sad and doing some stupid shit, and you're up for some murders and violence - this inspector will get your fix.

You never know for certain if he wants to kill you or get you naked.

f) Jerome Flynn

Forget Game of Thrones, Jerome Flynn's performance here is one of the best I have ever seen ever. Bennet Drake is by far my favourite character of them all.

How dare you, sir, how dare you look so damn well with guns. Both in your hands and on your arms. 

(Also, I want to crawl back to my bed and cry just from remembering what things happened during this episode x.x)

g) Costumes!

JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS PRETTY STUFF MY HEART IS MELTING WITH JOY. Just look at the embroidery, this is it, this is how heaven looks like.

Daaaaaaaamn.

Anyways, there's still a lot to watch - each episode is an hour long - and even though there are just 8 of them per season, there's still a lot to watch. Mostly because I'm more and more scared what will happen next, so I don't really want to watch it. But I'm excited to find out what will fuck up this time even more, so I really want to watch it. Ugh, I swear, this show will be the death of me.

Day 7: Watch a funny YouTube video.

(Tank Dating Simulator. Yes, you've read this right.)

If there is one universal truth in this whole universe, it's the fact that Dodger can always make me smile. Ever since I started watching videos of this rainbow-hair crazy cat lady, I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE and my entire existence have been ENTIRELY changed. For the better of course. Of course!

Anyways, this particular day, Epizode 5 of the Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator went up and sure as hell I wanted to see tanks in hot springs. I never knew that that is what my life has been missing. How foolish of me.

I can't remember if I have ever laughed this hard when history puns where involved. Whoever made this stupid game, made an excelent research not only about the sexy tanks themselves, but also about the wars and current conflicts in the world. If you have at least moderate insight to stuff that has been happening - for the last like what... hundred years? - and know who Stalin is, you'll have a GREAT time if you play/watch this, I swear.

If not, you'll still laugh your lungs out, I mean, come on, it's a game for DATING. TANKS. Also - Occult Studies Club! Uniforms! Blitzkrieg 101! And Dodger's EXCELLENT voice acting! Here's the whole playlist of the run she did, if you're interested. And you fucking should be xD

Day 4: Start a gratitude journal.

(Like I can keep any kind of journal going.)

While I don't believe being optimistic is nor wise nor good for one's health, I have always kinda known how important it is to not forget all those little things we do have on a daily basis. Things like sight, hearing, ability to move around, the smell of nature, the beautiful open sky, the magical and powerful INTERNET and yes, I am even grateful for other people. Sometimes. Certainly not always.

My point is that being grateful for things is directly linked to my core or - if I have one - soul. I think it started when I was very young and was made even stronger because of my depression and other fun stuff that make me feel guilty and not worth living. It also might be the reason why I have become so religious lately.

Having a gratitude journal is a waste of time and paper, because I tend to pray every day and gratitude is a part of that (besides swearing and all the anger because Gods are clearly not very good at their job, othervise this planet would look a lot nicer). It started when I was tiny and was saying goodbye to all the things I liked in case I'd die in my sleep (what to say, I was a weird kid and you are at necromancer's blog, remember?) and therefore wouldn't have the chance to say it to them. It continued for many years and later developed into prayers in a more... hm... common manner. And if I am not in a place where I can pray, or do not have the time, I usually kiss the rings I wear every day to at least dedicate a quick little thought to the moment that made me feel... well feel.

So... I am saying nope to a gratitude journal. Unfortunatelly I tend to say nope to all kinds of journals, because I am bad at writing as I said previously. However, there are certain ways I jot down some of the memories frequently:

a) Bullet Journal

I don't use the monthly spread for the future planning or anything like that - I use the calendar in my phone for that - but instead I write the single best thing that happened that day even if it's the sheer fact that that day is over. It's a nice, quick little overview of things that made me happy.

b) Evernote

I use the web clipper excesively not only for research, school and writings but also for saving inspiring stuff or stuff to get back to in the future or anything I want to remember or screenshot.

c) Letters

For a couple of months now, I am trying to get back to a written journal, and while I still do not write as often as I'd like to, I do like the fact that I don't have a notebook dedicated to my day to day life or random essays, but instead I write them in a form of letters. Regency letters to be more specific.

I take an A4 paper (as of now I usually rip out two pages from a lined A5 notebook), sit down for ten to twenty minutes, write whateverthehell I want and the fold it like this:

After that, it looks small and cute and fits perfectly into empty tea boxes. Which means two things: I will easily forget what I have written, I can't read the previous entries without unfolding each individual letter (I'm way too lazy for that) and that makes reminiscing more special when I do decide to go over them. And secondly: all my diary entries now smell after my favourite teas. Delightful.

Day 14: Dance around your living room.

(I just want you to know, that everything hurts.)

So you already know that going out for a run was a bad idea. I've been reminding myself of that every single time I had to take the stairs to somewhere, which happens a lot when you take the subway.

I. Feel. Every. Single. Muscle.

"Let's have a dance off then!" said my brain thinking how clever it is. But to be honest, I do that quite often lately, because my room mate is gone a lot. And I think it has also something to do with the fact that spring is finally upon us. And that I love to procrastinate.

Favourite song lately?

I have never been much of a dancer. I have always wanted to be one, though. In other words - it is certainly for the best that you can't see me.

Day 2: Sign up for a free exercise class.

(The worst idea ever.)

Okay, this is the first bit of challenge I'm going to tweak a bit, because mixing me + sport + other people is a disastrous idea. And I can't do the Day 1 thing, because I'm avoiding doing my laundry - like every other responsible adult - for weeks and it's a miracle as it is to have something, anything to wear.

So I decided to go for a run. You might not know this, but about a year ago I started running. Yes. Voluntarily. I had finally overcome my fear of doing any sports whatsoever (thanks high school), bought the Zombies, Run! 5k training app and started saving the world. It lasted couple of months and it was great. I stopped during summer due to various reasons but I was certain that one day I'll get back to it.

I decided that this is the day. After not getting up before noon, after struggling my way through uni, and after spendind the whole day with killer headaches, I decided that this evening is the right time to start. And because I have already bought the app, it counts as a free sport thingy.

Did I get eaten? Nope. Did I improve? Yes, and I am sooo proud ^^ Do I regret everything and want to go back in time and punch me in the face?

Yes. Yes I do.

Day 36: Start a blog.

(Again?)

"Writer" is by a definition a person who writes. You know what I've been doing? 

NOT WRITING, yes, exactly. No books, no diary entries, no letters, no blog posts, no status updates, no tweets, no... tumblr... stuff. Nothing. Whole bunch of nothing. I feel like all of my creativity is gone, burnt out. ... Again. And I don't even have the energy to be angry about it anymore.

The only thing not fitted for this Eternal Procrastination Hell was one of my few attempts to make my friend laugh - or at least feel better - and how do you do that I hear you ask? Well, by finding random things on the internet, of course.

And the thing was - drumroll please - The 365-Day Happiness Challenge Guaranteed to Change Your Life by POPSUGAR. None of us actually think that this will change our lives and - dear Gods forbid - change them for the better, but it seems like fun so, we're gonna do it.

No, not that, we're gonna do the challenge. And even if our lives are still miserable and boring as always, it might still force us to write more, create more and pretend that we actually know how to deal with this whole "adult" situation we have going on here.

So yes. That's basically why I'm back. Again. With a brand new blog. 

Again.

Deader than ever.

Shall the curse Whatthefuckamidoingwithmylife be broken once and for all.

(And if not - do not attempt to raise me back or I'll bite you.)